earworm #18 - Wanted Dead or Alive

Bon Jovi's -- the second song we loved in common. *mutual gasp.* it took 9 years living together to discover it.

I knew it from Grade 10 English -- someone used it for her poetry presentation. he knew it thru normal channels.

editorial aside # 25 - this process

how many ideas fit 40?

suss the possibilities
for shape, compression,
spaces within constraint
of 40 pieces of material.

boxes of words, bowed
w/ label of How It Was,
discern. permit story
of self. exercise heart

lines, lives and thanks

anecdote #230 - L

the simple human open gesture of leaning back
into her ex-husband, into the safety
of his chest, arms

at the funeral of her friend,
his empathy for her grief
was clear. their caring.

after those tumbles,
it confused me,
comforted.

anecdote #229 - G's brother

a teen with the deer hunting party, the week
of booze up, men's haze, hazing. they say
he tripped climbing a wooden fence, didn't
have the safety on his rifle, shot himself. or
maybe grudge-settling, country-style.
I'm leaving.

tribute #317 - Phil

balanced

not off-gasssSSSssing of unprocessed thoughts
nor pat presentation of previously decided

performance of comfort in his skin
or, comfort-discomfort continuum-mix.

open, frank, considered, tact
not passive-aggressive "saying truth" excuse.

curiosity engaged. uncommonly willing
to detach world from perceptions.

earworm # 17 - Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

I assailed walls with Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious for a while, came across a light blue t-shirt with the word wrapped back and forth across the front, each line fading away more until the docious was dots. I wore it until it disinte...

earworm # 16 - It Only Takes a Spark

Pass it On by Kurt Kaiser was my standing order and at church and youth group. Whenever Lois asked 'any requests?' she'd meet my pleading eyes, 'alright, let's do the one Pearl likes'. Camping by the lake, voices over ripples...

tribute #316 - filly

"I loved her too well to let her go.
...too well to keep her", owed her
training while she could best learn.

spooked by a 4-wheeler; driver didn't
look back. she galloped home
wide-eyed, dad in the ditch
with head-injuries.

earworm #15 - My Give a Damn is Busted

Messina's anthem was instrumental in helping me wedge permission to be unequivocal. In a dysfunctional friendship, there's a point where allowances for moods, differences, personality, mental health, just harm the person, harm everyone else that person interacts with, and self.

anecdote #228 - He, 7 mos. older and wiser

-What?

(I stared, dream of him flashing back.)

- What?
(blushing)

-Spit it out.

(turned to hawing)
- I, er, this dream, you're sh-shimmying

His shout of laugh,

then
regarding me solemnly

extended a hand to shake,
- Congratulations... on getting a pulse.

anecdote #227 - fish monger

these long gypsy cycles hoola-hooped
around my lifetime. not every season
he'd door-to-door selling mudpuppy.
seemed selling treacheries, dangerous
small bones my parents feared, obligatory
charity to buy? (cheapest whatever?)
neighbourliness as blackmail? their
cashflow/Pride put on the spot?

tribute #315 - JFK

JFK is my chosen nation, of those who act for
solidarity, peace-making, compassion
"civility is not a sign of weakness,"

not to bear arms, though arms we need;
in struggles against the common enemies:
tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself.

tribute #314 - Joe

Dad brought me (where?) sleepy-eyed, to meet Indian Joe, 'just Joe', who he hung out with, camped with, in youth.

a pull-off, widened road, old tree, almost saw him. what story did dad almost tell that mom disapproved into silence?

earworm #14 - Living Out Loud

some Lines to mantra

tired of living in this bubble
today I'm changing everything

occasionally. take stock of priorities, desires.
a call back to self, to not be so much of a pleaser.
bliss is equilibrium between self-conscious and others-forward.

earworm #13 - Dixie Roads

The moonlight held the spotlight that we shared
I found new notes on that old guitar [...]

                                                        the tune lifts
when I feel content with an anticipatory grief.

music's sadness on an eggtimer, safe from burning.
reminder: now is also perfect.

anecdote #226 -Sam (circa 1981)

we cat-sat him, poured his cream.
he was sturdy and lithe and black.
his one eye, golden, the other
cancerous, surgically removed.
my aches were silenced with
name-calling. this house
was another world of rules:
compassion, thriving.
mom saw "cripple".